yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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