I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize