We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
