if only i could text you this smell
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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