If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
