okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
