It was confusing and full of hummus
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
