He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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