I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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