I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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