I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
