Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
