Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
