I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
FUCK WHALES
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