Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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