i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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