you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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