I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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