did you get engaged???
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
