i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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