he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
