if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
