I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
