I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Randomize
