Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
