You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the room spins SO much faster in panama
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
