haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
