Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
