i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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