My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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