he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
