if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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