i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
