You're my little dorito
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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