so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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