I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
