Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
