just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
