Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize