are you still at the devil's house?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
