I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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