I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i think i just lost a toe
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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