i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
