from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize