it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
