he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
