This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
