watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
