lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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