I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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