you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
