Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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