the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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