so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
