It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
