I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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